Ah, four of the clan EvEm troublemakers went on a small field trip. At last the sordid details can be revealed!
First off, apologies for there not being an "Omen Says" for the past three weeks. I have actually been writing them, but due to some site changes (in the field of security) they were lost, except for the last one which has been sent to the test "Omen Says" database. (They're giving me my own.) I couldn't be bothered re-writing them and it's probably better that they were lost anyway... in the first I mentioned the words "sniper" and "gay" in the same sentence several times (talking about Action Quake as usual) and also "LPB" and "$@#&!!!!!" a few times too.
ANYWAY, before I get side tracked, here is the promised article. If your wondering what the Star Wars influence on the previous article title (ie, "The Phantom Menace"), it was because I was told to put up a "Teaser". (As in the Star Wars "teaser trailer" that did the rounds for several months.) As promised pictures are included...
The following EvEm members were present: myself, Rebem, Harmer, and Gen. A few other quakers were present, such as Muzzman. Xtro couldn't make it because he "couldn't afford it". We found this odd, we set the date two months in advance so he could save, and after mailing us saying he couldn't come, then an e-mail later he announced he was buying Tribes. No money, eh? Admit it Xtro, your just a weeny :) As for Styles, his excuse was "exams". Pah, I never let them get my way! Styles is too young and fragile anyway so I suppose it was best for all he didn't come.... I almost didn't make it myself, as in an unrelated, but highly amusing (for everyone else) incident an ATM ate my bankcard, which left me with more than enough money in the bank but no way to get it. (At least not conveniently.)
Ok, but down to the good stuff...
Heres the way it works. Pictures are present but I'll put them all down below, that way you can click on 'em for a bigger version. It's much cooler to put them in the text but you loose the ability to hook them up to the bigger version that way. (This is a database site, not HTML, so no, I'm not just too stupid to do it.)
We played several types of games. There were two games of Elimination, in which two teams basically go at it. (Quake translation: Team Deathmatch.) Then there was a game of CTF; different in that there were was 1 flag in the middle to be captured, by bringing it back to your "base". Then there was a game of Generals, where one member of your team is a General (duh) who has to be protected by his team. Once your General is shot you all are. (Team Fortress translation: Defend the President.) This was followed up by Mexican Standoff, where two players stand back to back, take 10 paces, turn and fire. There was also a game of Snipers, where 5 lucky players were chosen to go into the bush before everyone else and do the typical camper/sniper thing, and everyone else had to ferret them out. And then a game of Medic; where one member of the team is the Medic, who has the ability to rejuvinate marked team mates. (Quake translation: Freeze Tag.) Then a game of more "traditional" CTF, where each team had a flag to be grabbed and returned to the enemy base to win. Followed by "No Mates", pretty self explanatory really. Shoot anyone that moves. This was played to use up all your remaining ammo. (Quake translation: Deathmatch.)
I could give you a blow by blow description but I'd be here typing all night. This is bad. So I'm going to make for some ammusing little stories. These are all from my perspective however, others playing will have different stories and if I mention every thing that happened this article will never end. So, here we go!
Rebem the Terminator:
This was during the Mexican Standoff competion. I was the only EvEm who chickened out, as playing in this event was guaranteed to get you shot whether you won or lost, and I'd already been hit enough that day to know it wasn't very pleasant. Anyway the real motivation behind this was that Harmer had benevolently put up a $50 dollar coupon to the winner.
There were lots of different styles; there was the drop down to one knee technique, drop flat to the ground technique, the don't-take-any-steps-at-all-then-turn-and-fire-and-surprise-the-bastard technique and the stand there and hope for the best technique. Rebem told us beforehand that he was going to go for the one handed-side on trick. So on his tenth step he turned, stood side on, brought out the marker with one hand and let the other bastard have it. This technique was actually quite effective, it minimised his "hittable area". However the second or third time, he was hit several times, but the pellets didn't break so they didn't count. (Hence "the Terminator" - "hahaha, your human weapons have no effect.") Unfortunately they still hurt like hell, but he won the coupon :)
Omens lucky streak:
The teams were a bit slanty. After every shuffle it seemed that one team was always able to steamroll the other. In the attempt to keep it equal, the teams were shuffled three times, in which I was moved from the losing team, to the losing team, and then finally back to the losing team. (Ack! The Tribes curse has followed me into the real world!) They only game I enjoyed a win was in the game of Sniper, because I wasn't a sniper...
Ouchies:
Damn it might only be paint but it still hurts. I think I must have been shot more than most. Well not more than everyone, after the game of No Mates there was one bloke who looked like he'd been in a knife fight with a Predator. (The paint was was fluro green.) Harmer had the "Injury of the day", in which in a game of Mexican Standoff he took a hit on the back of his hand. The pellet burst but the shell of the pellet, while not very hard can still be very sharp, and he was left with a perfect circular cut on one of his fingers. (Screenshot below.)
I also accrued a very nasty bruise. This was because I was hit in the same place several times, and when I mean several I mean about 10. This is what happens when the cover you have is very bad and your upper arm is out in the open asking to be shot, while your pinned down and can't move. (Note to self: next time just surrender.) The problem was, none of the pellets would break, so I was still an "alive" player, and they just kept shooting. When I was finally taken out I was hit by a triple tap I think, because there was so much paint it soaked through the coverall and into my shirt. Screenshot below :)
Muzzman does SuperMan:
I can't be entirely sure it was Muzzman through the mask and everything, but I think it was him. It was the game of Medic, and being tired of being shot I decided to camp right at the back and "guard the rear.... uh yeah, that's what I'm doing." There was a team mate just past my cover (bunch of bushes and dead twigs. The cover was bad, it was either the small tree on the right or the smaller tree on the left. The only peice of bush I've seen that didn't have a rusty old car in it. That rusty old car would have been really useful....) who was behind a fallen log. Out of nowhere it seemed, some guy ran right accross the team mate in front of me, and in a sort of a "woah, shit, didn't see him" type move made a really cool leap for cover, and fell flat on his face, only to find himself looking right down the barrel of an enemy marker. He didn't need to worry, he'd already been hit in the back three or four times on the way down. Pity such a classic move was all for nothing... :/
Gens Close Call:
Just after Muzzes leap for safety, I noticed someone walking casually through the bush, just up high. I thought he must have been out to just walk through like that. After a small while of watching him approach, I knew two things a)It was Gen, and b)Gen was on the other team. But I didn't know if he was an "alive" player or not. So I waited, and he came straight for me. What he saw when he saw me was a guy kneeling in the dirt with a Paintball marker straight at him. I couldn't see his face, but I could see his eyes, and those eyes said "oh shit!" to me. The minute I saw that I knew he was still in, and he made for cover. Unfortunately for me I hadn't turned the saftey off correctly. The marker sounded like it was firing, but it wasn't firing. Damn. Gen ran out of CO2 anyway, and had to go get a refill. Dang, another easy frag down the drain.. the expression in his eyes was worth it though! :)
The Stubborn Pellet:
The damn pellet that would have turned the tables and won the war. Typically when it comes down to something so simple it becomes so complicated.
It was in the last CTF game; I was the only defender. I'm just sitting there going "crap crap crap" because I couldn't afford any more pellets (due to the bankcard incident) and I was down on ammo. Then, off to my right, movement. It was none other than Rebem himself, our flag in his mind, but not yet in his hands. More importantly he hadn't seen me at all, and he was out of cover. JOY! I could not miss! So I lined him and let fire. Direct hit in the chest. Down he goes and calls for a paint check. NO PAINT! Stupid pellet bounced. Then he returns fire... and hits me in the boot. THE BOOT. Now that seriously sucks ass, I should have had that frag! Ack, such is life. So I call myself out. (Damn hes lucky I'm an honest man.) The last line of defence removed, our flag is open.
Later I found out that about the same time, Muzzman's sister, who was on my team, was making her assualt on the enemy base, and was successful at that. Just after Rebem had taken our flag, she had taken his (she was quite good really, shot me in the head damnit) and had that one, crappy little bastard pellet done it's job and broke, Rebem would have been sidelined, and our flag would have been safe, enemy flag would have been capped, I would have finally won a game, and all would have been right with the world. Stupid boot.
The Ass Bandit:
Ah, now who shot Muzzes sister in the ass? Quite amusing that the only chick who showed up was the only one to get shot in the butt :) As I found out in the car on the way home, the culprit was Rebem, and to hear him tell it you just have to laugh. It's the story of a man who was in the bush playing Paintball, at peace with the world and a satisfied life. A loving wife and children, a career, good friends, and quake. And then he saw someones butt poking out from behind a tree. And he did what every well balanced individual would do; he put a cap in it.
Well, he didn't quite tell it like that. Quote: "I saw someones back and a great butt hanging out from behind a tree, so I shot it."
Ah, you can always count on Rebem to say it how it is ;)
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Locked and Loaded | This is us in our gear. Masks, Markers (we take the pink things out of the ends before playing, it's a safety thing)and camoflauged coveralls. Although you can't really tell who's who, I'm on the left, then Harmer, then Gen, and the tall Dune 2000 Freeman/Arab Terrorist on the right is Rebem. |  | File Name: PBEvEm.jpg
File Size: 87.11KB
Date: June 19, 1999 - 01:27:00 AM
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The Usual Suspects | Group photo! Now you can see our faces. On the very left standing up is Rebem. Next to him is Harmer, and next to him is Muzzmans sister. In front of her kneeling (hrmm) is Gen. Meanwhile Muzz doesn't appear to be in the photo... he may be the guy on the very left with his mask still on. As for myself, I'm the goofy lookin guy at the back fourth from the right (standing on the right of the guy without camoflage.) |  | File Name: PBGroup.jpg
File Size: 57.22KB
Date: June 19, 1999 - 01:21:00 AM
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Fire! | Harmer in the Mexican Standoff, executing the "drop to one knee" approach. He had moderate success but was eliminated in the final. (The guy in yellow is the referee.) |  | File Name: PBHarmDuel.jpg
File Size: 71.31KB
Date: June 19, 1999 - 12:35:25 AM
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Damn that stings | Harmers injury. I'm glad I didn't get this one, but it was a pretty good shot though. |  | File Name: PBHarmInjury.jpg
File Size: 51.97KB
Date: June 19, 1999 - 01:22:24 AM
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I'm going to hate it in the morning... | This is what I got instead. Pretty good marksmanship, really, as you can see the impacts were pretty close together. The pink bits I think were broken blood capillaries, the next day they were all blood red, and there was a shade of blue/purple radiating out. This later turned yellow/green. Fortunately it's almost totally gone now and it really did look worse than it really was. |  | File Name: PBOmenInjury.jpg
File Size: 66.14KB
Date: June 19, 1999 - 01:22:53 AM
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Gen and the Tempest | This marker was a "better" one than the renatal ones we were using, and we were allowed to all have a go on the target range. (Basically an old plastic 2 litre milk bottle hanging of some string, with a few other items to shoot as well). The Tempest is more accurate and with a better range (I presume) and I think it had a higher rate of fire. It seemed that way to me anyway. Anyway, this is Gen having a go. |  | File Name: PBGenTempest.jpg
File Size: 107.08KB
Date: June 19, 1999 - 01:23:17 AM
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Damn I'm Good | Harmer in disbeleif of just how good his last shot was. I think it's worth noting that this was the only time a Marker was being used without us wearing masks, because only one was being used, it was always pointed at inamimate objects and we we were being supervised. (They were pretty big on safety.) |  | File Name: PBHarmTempest.jpg
File Size: 86.8KB
Date: June 19, 1999 - 01:23:44 AM
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Die Bottle Die | Rebem gets some of that pent up aggression from the office out his system by knocking the milk bottle for six. It literally learnt to fear the colour green. |  | File Name: PBRebemTempest.jpg
File Size: 87.76KB
Date: June 19, 1999 - 01:36:12 AM
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Oooh he's a Hard 'un | Me attempting my "damn I'm a tough kunt" look and stance, failing dismally. I managed to hit the bottle though. |  | File Name: PBOmenTempest.jpg
File Size: 94KB
Date: June 19, 1999 - 01:34:27 AM
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Author:
[EvEm]_Omen
Created:
June 18, 1999
Modified:
June 19, 1999 - 06:31:07 PM
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