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The Coca Cola Connoisseur
Ah yeah, there's nothing quite like it. You settle back behind your monitor for a night of fun, frivolity and frag-festing and reach for the bottle of Coke, only to find...
IT'S GONE FLAT AAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After many taste testing sessions, Xtro and I have come up with the ultimate in Coke preparation. Here are our steps to having the highest quality caffeine induced sugar rush with our favourite (non-alcoholic) beverage:
- First and foremost, freeze it. Commonly known as the Triple F principle. It's important to freeze that bastard solid, so whack the whole 2 litre container in the freezer and slow those damn molecules!
- Next, and possibly the most important step, is the thaw process. Very difficult to get right. Common thinking is to pull the bottle from the fridge and place it on a table at room temperature. However after thousands of sampling sessions, Xtro and I discovered that this in fact sends the Coke flat. It is therefore vitally important to allow the bottle to thaw at NORMAL FRIDGE TEMPERATURES.
- The third step is where the skill is introduced to the process. You see once the Coke begins to thaw, you have to know when to intercept the thaw process. Perfect timing will result in the correct amount of liquid to slush ratio (LSR). LSR is important because when drinking Coke you want it nice and chilled but you don't want to stick your tongue down the walls of the glass just to remove that lining of slush. Timing is the key and it takes years of practise.
- Finally, you have the perfect beverage and you're ready to pour. But alas, beyond the first few drops of black nectar, nothing emerges from the bottle! Here's where the squeeze technique comes into play. While pouring, gently squeeze the bottle (plastic bottles only) to release the loggerhead of slush, thus allowing the liquid to flow at the desired rate. Xtro is renowned as EvEm's highest skilled squeezer while Omen consistently excels at the class of Coke Tosser.
Well there you have it. Obviously more research is required to cover such areas as Coke in cans and from vending machines. Cans have been investigated by Xtro with limited results (see the link to his comments below). Meanwhile, for some exciting news on new developments by the Coca Cola company, please refer to this article.
We're creating a local database of Coke recipes. If you have any to contribute, please mail me. Currently we're limited to the classic Coke and icecream spider so send those recipes in!!!
Author:
[EvEm]_Rebem
Created:
December 8, 1998
Modified:
December 9, 1998 - 05:04:06 PM
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