Evil Empire Gaming

Thanks!
For exposing your nerd slob readers to our site.
Hopefully this will stimulate them enough to turn off the nerd machine, (computer) and leave the house during daylight hours, possible coming into contact with the sun again....
-Chris

Dear Chris,
Your site requires to many mouse clicks to read. Please remove three.

Thank you

Your devoted Fan,
Xtro.

Hmm...pretty funny article by that chris guy, even if it was mean as hell.

Hey Chris

You're the one that's a little short in the logic department - using the internet to complain about the internet?
If you don't like it try pamphlet drops. :>
And how do you manage to maintain a website if you're not an oversized pasty sight-impaired recluse with the greasy helmet look yourself?

Relic
PS (yes, I know what this stands for) Thanks for acknowledging all the work I put into my UT Hero post. Doesn't take much effort to rip out a pic and some text, add some expletives and call it content!

Dear Xtro,

Are you really that fat and lazy to press the mouse button 3 times? That's pretty pathetic. Also, it only takes 2 mouse clicks...I guess all nerds AREN'T good at math!

Relic,
Thanks for playing, but you lose.
I like how you took all my truhful insults and just repeated them back to me, like a parrot. I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you. Thanks again, Peewee.

Of course I use the net to complain about the net. It is the most logical form of action. Fat nerds like you who never see sunlight are never going to come into contact with some flyers or pamphlets.

As far as recognizing your nerd work, keep it up. There are plenty of morons like the people that visit this site on a daily basis, but we prefer game nerds over the rest of the internet nerds out there.

Dear Mike & Chris,
Your act, while slightly amusing for 3 seconds, is not very original. In fact you suck at it. I think you made the mistake of thinking it's an easy act and all you need to do is swear a bit and poke fun.

Attempting to break out a new website like this is a risky business, particularly due to the legacy of such sites like http://www.somethingawful.com and http://www.oldmanmurray.com. These guys actually pulled it off because they were clever in exactly the same way that you aren't.

And while I enjoyed playing the game for a moment it appears you've got nothing left. Go learn from the masters for a while and then come back. Perhaps you'll find your own original act.

I wish you luck!

Actually the site isnt updated very often, for the very reason that Chris isn't a pasty fat white nerd. While the internet is jam-packed with all sorts of horrible material and freaky people, it is unfortunately the most effective form of mass media to date. Which means that being a hypocrite is required if you want to criticize things on the internet and make it available for viewing by a large numbe rof people. Something Awful is indeed funny, but something about it lately has been turning me off (Probably the articles by Emily....don't know why but they don't seem quite as funny). Oh well, just thought i'd throw in a hodgepodge of thoughts into here. And as to Xtro's comment there...you don't honestly believe anyone can own one type of humor can you? How can you really think that only a few people running two sites have that "clever" humor you crave? There's just too many people on the internet for that to be true, and even though most aren't willing to waste money to keep running a large site, that has nothing to do with their humor.

I don't. They were just 2 examples I could think of quickly. You're right, there are too many to list. Which is why Damn The Internet doesn't rate too highly.

OMM were slow to update their site, but every article was a gem. Relic was spot on:

"Doesn't take much effort to rip out a pic and some text, add some expletives and call it content!"

I like Chris' comment: "I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you."
Who does he think he is... Muhammad Ali???

Out of all the gaming sites to pick, this is the least typical you could find. We're not who you imagine us to be.
If only you knew... :>

I think the simple fact that he has enough time to follow up on this repeatedly is evidence enough that damntheinternet is somewhat starved for content. I'd say starved for amusing content, but after having a read through the site I think that goes without saying.

Fuck nerds

Man I hate nerds. Those fatass pseudo-intellectuals are always thinking they're better than everyone else. Why? I really don't know! Maybe because they have more free time than normal people to research Star Trek trivia and make stupid websites and forums about pointless shit. When nerds aren't ROLE PLAYING in some gay online video game world that has no plot and never ends, then they're busy writing websites about those video games or creating web journals about their pathetic existences. For example: "Saturday: I woke up and played Everquest today. By 7PM, STILL no one had called me! Nobody cares about me! Why oh why do I have no friends? The loneliness washes over me like a dark blanket of sadness! Oh well, back to Everquest, where I will converse with similarly doomed nerds..." Get a clue, fuckheads. You nerds are arrogant bastards who condescend all non-nerds. You're the ones who dig your own social graves by sitting at home all day with your computers and being assholes on top of it all. I mean, seriously, who would write a 500 page walkthrough/FAQ of a videogame that any retard can beat, like Diablo 2? Full of completely useless information that you can find out simply by playing the game? Some fucking losers on the internet, who have ABSOLUTELY nothing to do, that's who. Do these people even exist in real life? Or are they physically attached to their computers? Man I hate nerds.

Never to late too post some wack nerdyness on the internet...
I met Chris playing an online game called Delta Force 1.
He was the leader of a well respected squad in a tight community.
He had rules and played scrimms, and I can say I was lucky enough to get on the squad.
There was "Squad Politics" of course, and small fights amongst the squad from outside influence of other squads.
We weeded out all nerds who took the game too seriously, this included ousting whole squads.
We were so popular, other squads started implying the same rules we had in our servers, in thiers.
We had allies, we even merged with a whole other squad.
I remember someone copied my name and cheated in one of our servers. This was in revenge for me outkasting one of our respected members =Skyler= and one of our allies -=RS=-(a whole squad).
I caught Skylar and the general of -=rs=- cheating.
I remember chris asking me if it was true...and I said it wasn't, but i would resign so the squad wouldn't look bad...
They all asked me to come back, because our Lt general Spank had found some counter intelligence from an insider that me cheating, was a setup. The issue of the famous z3(thats me) is still a contraversy to this day.
But something happened after all the shit about me cheating...
Some higher ups if you know what I'm saying.
They pulled chris from being our squad leader and Spank had to take over.
I was now Lt Gen.
I remember hearing something about anti-nerd gamer propaghanda being spread by a man named chris. Its all hush hush though
I think he was assigned to take our "play and have fun, and don't be a nerd about it" to the next level...
...to the internet...(scary music here).
Who knows...maybe there are some who still keep in contact with him and write the occasional rant for him...hmmm
All i know is that when chris left...[MMD](that was our squad), just wasn't the same, cause shortly after, spank left the squad for one of our allies and they then merged with another becoming one of the most respected squads in the Df community.
And if you don't believe me then go get a history lesson, cause all nerds know that if you get the DF1 paradigm 172 mb version off kazaa and then update it with the 3 mb update from the nova world website, and finally crack the cd with either the razor 911 crack or that mexican one then you can play online.
You stupid fux...this is a real story too...
Sry Chris...but I know the hypocriticality of your site is what your trying to get across, and these nerds can't seem to get that through their heads, so I had to prove to them you were a nerd once too, who realized your behaviour and wanted to guide the masses away from crap ass sites like this one...
can't you see...its too late for me...but you...you can do it...i know it...

fuck these nerds...

G'day,

I'm Steve Irwin.
I nearly killed a baby in my recent stunt at my beautiful, "Australia Zoo - Where Crocs Rule!".

Yeah so I was eating a snag when I read this website and I gotta say that my piss has seen better days after an all night out with the boys and drinking tonnes of cheap ale. Then we hired some cheap sheilers and then, you can imagine what they did, they drove us home because we were drunk. Ha ha ha. That was the best night, of me life.

I was thinking if I shove a turnip up me arsehole, would it come back out again even tastier?

Please reply to answer my question.

Your mate,
Steve.